THE FEEL

           THE FEEL

The purest part like a dream,
The living nightmare of detachment,
The warm sun on a cold winter morning,
The umbrella on a rainy stormy day,
How great can it be remains unestimated,
The sense of love and joy can never be understated,
It's the place you deserve its the place you FEEL.

Its like a hawk flying high in the sky,
Its the pinnacle where there's only one KING,
Where everyone is too near too far,
Despite being on top of the world,
He feels like being kept in a jar,
This height gets too cold to survive alone,
The speed makes you move too fast too far away,
To only make yòu still and not make you FEEL.

Like an ant in an ant group,
Where you have one too many helping hands,
It's the bond that keeps them together,
Not just for certain stray moments,
But for centuries forever,
But being there does not make you a part,
Its staying alone while being in a crowd,
Because LOVE keeps it all lovely,
Because only love can make you feel lively to FEEL.

To walk on a lonely street on a rainy night,
To go home where you cannot feel,
With the freedom of a prisoner in shackles,
Its a state you just cannot easily tackle,
It remains a mystery whether that's the home,
Where you have a nest but you still remain alone,
Because presence at home is not the final frontier,
It's the emotional allegiance which makes you FEEL its HOME.

To be with people who always want you,
To shrug off the expectations when you're expected the most to do,
Not to be with a friend when he needs you the most,
To kick him out in a brush of a stroke,
When everything just falls apart,
It's only the love that you shared can keep the distances apart,
Because selfless love for someone,
Can make you turn human from a ROCK.

Maybe this is home,
Maybe this is the feel,
To feel wanted where you're not,
To feel unwanted where you're needed the most,
You have to keep yourself open,
Cause may be this is the day when you can tell yourself,
This is home,
This is where I belong,
This is the FEEL

MY PLACE

Wandering the street of a place, 
Place which I feel familiar with place what I called the ‘MY PLACE’, 
Where I felt my heart in peace, 
But now, I walk all alone in the streets of My Place. 

I wander across the dark wet streets, 
The moist air slaps my face, 
I see the birds fleeing their nests to search for a new place to live, 
I see the dead trees falling, 
I see the light placing itself out from my place, 
Oh! The place where I belong is so dead, 
Where I can’t feel the joy reach my head, 
My eyes throw the warm tears on my cheeks, 
Cause the place I belong to was so very dead. 

I start my search for my home, 
Home where I wanted to belong to for the rest of my life, 
But I can’t seem to find it, because all the houses looked the same, 
I was from a small family, 
That’s why my house was very ordinary, 
But they had the people to call it ‘my home’, 
I finally found my home, I knocked the door, 
The door was open I stepped in but they stared at me and threw me out, 
The tears found their way again like a river finding its dried channel, 
From my eyes to my cheeks, from the cheeks to the street, 
I find sorrow haunting my place, 
I feel sorry to come here because the place I belong to is so dead. 

I wanted to go sink in the dark like everybody else, 
But now I saw a light which was brightly bluely, 
I could see some happy shadows dancing in the light, 
There was a sense of bond which I could smell and feel inspite of the distance we shared, 
I moved towards the light with a sense of hope, 
A hope to live and exist and not succumb to my battle with the dead-ly dark, 
As I move closer I can smell the bond, 
The bond was crystal clear in my head, 
The bond was the bond of friendship which could never break despite distances, 
I reach the place which was bathing with light, 
I step inside the part which makes me feel so happy, so content, 
The shadows which turned into faces, faces which turned to people indeed were my friends. 

They possessed a look of shock and awkwardness on their faces, 
Because here they faced a murderer, 
They wanted to run but they couldn’t, 
They pitied me which put the light off again like the other places, 
But loud I screamed, the pain in the scream let the light come back, 
They helped me stand up back on my feet, they smiled at me, 
I was feeling awful, extremely hurt inside, 
Cause I was the murderer of myself and their very old close friend, 
But the place seemed to be bright again with happiness flowing around, 
Pleasant as it used to be, 
The faces of my friends smiled back at me, 
Cause they knew deep down that I was not the person who was standing in front of them, 
They trusted me with their lives, 
They made me feel like their same old dear friend, 
My place was worth living again, 
With the lights spreading its wings on my place, 
I now loved the place where I belonged to, 
Because it was cozy and lovable again. 

LIKE NEVER BEFORE

Seems just yesterday,
When happiness hugged me,
Seems just moments ago,
When happiness kissed me,
Now, My Life takes a turn,
My life is now how it was never before,
Sadness is my pocket,
Tears in my wallet,
Gloom on my eyes,
Making it hazy for me to see, like never before.

The Shine of “ME” “MYSELF”
Is clouded by the wrath of the world,
It just seems that future never existed for me,
The Smile, I lived with,
Now I can never show,
The zest to live my life is now subdued,
By the zest to go deep down under.

I feel this sea of sadness has filled the shores of my life,
With pain and filth I experience, Like never before,
My words stay deep in my heart,
They never come out even if I tear myself apart,
The box wants to open,
The box wants to break,
But The Key is lost,
Its like everything in my life has gone for a toss.

With the good turning bad,
With people turning their backs,
With dark pushing out the light,
With myself, I cannot fight,
With smiles fading away.
My life just seems to be like one it was never before.

My eyes wanting to see,
Someone who could be called “mine”,
But the words just dry up,
Making me feel like using mime,
With lady luck always against me,
I fight with her to create my own destiny,
But she always gives me a stern glance,
Which is always used against me as a common parlance,
But this is what my life is now,
Its become like one I have never experience before.

I am so far away from myself,
I want to reach myself,
I want to find myself,
Show myself the mirror to look at himself,
I look through every cupboard of my heart,
Every dusty closet of my memory,
But I can’t find the trace of ME,
I find myself in the dust and filth,
Image of me shattered like pieces of mirror,
My jaw drops down in horror,
But that’s how I am now, Like never before.

I look for places to go,
I look for beaches to relax,
I look for people to meet,
But I realize I am too into and deep,
I don’t know whether I can breath again,
Because swimming in sadness was something very new for me,
Its my fight against myself,
Its my fight with the time,
I realize that everything that I hold on to is not mine and can never be mine.

These are my words, 
Never been so cursed,
My words lack the finesse now,
The want to stay down under the sea,
I lie asleep wanting to say goodbye,
And die with lack of breath becomes stronger,
The wish to torture, the wish to put myself into shackles,
Its likes wishes I never had before

I was fighter, not a crook,
I was an animal, not a beast,
It’s the triumph of the evil,
And loss of the good,
I succumb to this pain,
Because without pain there is no gain,
This is my life; it was never like this before

GAME CALLED LIFE

There's always something in the way,
There's always something stopping you,
To come back to life,
And to Rejuvenate yourself,
That's the game of life,
Because Life is just a plain simple game.

To show you something you should not see,
To make you something you never thought you'd be,
To make you feel like you have never felt before,
But then when you feel you have achieved something,
It gets you down from the stars to the dump,
Its like a game of snake and ladder,
Gets you on top to get you back to the bottom,
Because Life is just a plain simple game.

Make you dream about places you have never seen before,
Then throws a stone at you to make your fantasies crashing down,
First making you smile and then making you frown,
Go to a Joy-land making you realise that it was the land of nightmares,
A life can be a complicated as a Jigsaw puzzle,
It takes a lifetime to know which pieces fit where,
Because life is Just a plain simple game.

Makes you take the risks and gambles,
Makes you play till you're all out,
Till then this Gamble just continues,
It will never let you see your cards,
It's only on the showdown you realise,
that in this gamble you only get bluffed,
Because that's the way life works,
Because Life is just a plain simple game.

Its like a roller-coaster ride,
Makes you see this highest highs,
Go through the lowest lows,
Makes you feel sick at the end of the show,
To show the stars in the morning,
to make you feel dazed and confused,
Because Life is just a plain simple game.

Its a race,
Race of the rat like cars,
Ruled, controlled and dictated by this life,
It gives you a boost out of nowhere,
To only make you stop with a loud screech,
If you still manage to go on then smash you on the sidelines,
When you still carry on and manage to reach the finish line,
It creates another detour to just prolong the torture,
To make you feel that you can't win,
Because Life is just a plain simple game.

Whether it be a race or a gamble,
A roller-coaster ride or a puzzle,
A game of hide and seek ,
The wish to exit this game cannot sustain,
life's wish to keep you in the game,
Because your entry in this game is your birth,
You can only exit on your death,
Because life will always continue these games.

UNTITLED - Poem with a bad side

I started off in a lonely street,
I lived in a broken home,
I live my life all alone,
I had no light in my life,
But i never complained,
About the regrets of living a half life,
A cursed life.

My birth marked the start of misery,
My birth turned all the lights off of the world,
The trees died in their own roots, 
The birds abandoned their homes,
The day turned into night,
But still i did not complain.

My adolescence was like a scar,
It would heal but not go away,
a robber of everyone's happiness,
A destructive force for their perfect lives,
Cause for everyone's distress,
An obstacle for everyone's solace,
Now i did complain,
About my unmarked existence.

A strength for no one,
A weakness of enormous magnitude,
A pain for everyone,
Unwanted by everyone,
Standing all alone on an island everyday,
This had become a part of me,
I started complaining more to god,
About the usefulness of my existence.

The mirror shows me an ugly replica of mine,
Gets shattered into pieces because of the ugliness,
I haven't seen a mirror in years,
I though i could fly away,
But i was born with broken wings,
I thought I could cry,
But i was born without any eyes,
I thought I could run away,
But i was born crippled and handicapped.

My existence would not matter,
Whether living or dead,
Cause in spite of changing myself,
At the end of the day, I still stood alone,
People came in my life and went out,
As if i were a mere guest house,
And not remember the pleasant stay in there,
I complain more to God,
To sometimes give me a shoulder to cry on.

I am stretching myself in all directions,
To gather the broken pieces of mine,
Convincing people to come and live in the old lonely street again,
and make it more cozy and liveable,
I am trying to repair my broken home again,
I am planting seeds for trees to grown again,
I just hope the trees grow faster,
Cause the birds shall follow when the trees do grow,
But all this is in vain.

I cannot make it to reach the HAPPY ENDING,
I am termed as a nightmare, a disaster, a loser, a kid,
For all the things i did,
Whether good or bad,
Thought it was for my close ones,
They were termed to be selfish,
I cannot complain anymore,
Because I am left with nothing.

I realise i cannot be perfect,
I cannot change the things I am destined to live with,
But i do not belong to this lonely street,
I do not deserve a broken home,
I do not deserve a deserted self,
So i start my journey,
In search of a place where i belong.
MAY BE THAT WILL BE MY HOME.